Tag: about me

Surrounded by Darkness

It is 2:45 am on August 24, 2008, and blackness surrounded me. I am laying face down and unconscious in the middle of Columbus Ave in Boston. The man who had moments before been stomping on my head, yelling for me to die was gone. This vicious and unprovoked attack left two friends in the hospital and two others afraid to leave their apartments.

To this day, I have no recollection of what happened; it was all very cloudy and grey in my mind. What I do remember is waking up in the hospital. Confused. Distraught. And in pain. But there was also something else that felt different, but at that moment I could not pinpoint what this different feeling was.

The Darkness Returns

Months later, my attacker pled guilty to 9 counts. But justice was not served as he walked out of the courtroom with his freedom and instructions to attend anger management classes. Once again, I was surrounded by only darkness.

Where was the justice in that sentence?

What message is this sentence sending to people?

Before this moment in my life, I never had any desire to share my Story. My experiences were unique to me and had no way of impacting others. In my mind, those who said they were going to change the world were merely tilting at windmills.

My Own Story Transformed My Thoughts and Beliefs

I left the courtroom, angry and upset, and I walked to calm my nerves. My voice cracked as I answered the first call from a reporter following up on the case. But that small crack in my voice was the last I ever saw of the person who didn’t share his Story.  I delivered an emotional but rational response that highlighted the critical points to the argument I had laid out in my head. Ending the conversation with a simple but powerful, imagine if you were the one lying face down on the pavement, how would it feel to know that the man who did this to you walked free.

And I continued to tell my story.  Zeroing in on all the emotions that someone experiences when they are violently attacked and continued to ask them to imagine if it was them. Just a short while had passed, and something extraordinary and entirely unexpected started to happen. People began to listen. But not only listen, these listeners then started to re-tell my Story, to rally around it, and to take actions to try to prevent things like this from happening again.

The world around me began to lighten.

My Story Was Now Bigger Than Me

Then one morning, my phone rings and the voice on the other end says, “Please hold for Senator Kennedy’s Office.” The Senator wanted to use my Story as part of his floor speech in support of the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Bill. A bill he fought tirelessly for. Legislation that this country desperately needed if we had any chance of preventing attacks like the one that happened to me and so many others.

That Bill was Senator Kennedy’s windmill and his legacy. I can only imagine what he felt the day the bill became law.

Darkness is Lifted

The passage of the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Bill marked the moment when color began flooding back into my life . The darkness had finally lifted.  I took a deep breath and walked back into my technicolor world a different person than when I was ripped from it the year before. That period of darkness taught me many lessons that will stay with me for a lifetime. But I was happy to return to my technicolor world and continue to use the new found superpower of storytelling to brighten the world just a bit more.

Laying The Groundwork for JRH Graphics

I was still many years away from establishing JRH Graphics, but I was unknowingly laying the groundwork for my future business. As the head of GLAAD’s DC Leadership Council, I worked with a team to help amplify the local stories that needed to be heard by a larger audience. And the fight for marriage equality came to DC, and GLAAD DC LC told lots of amazing and compelling stories of love.

Then there was a wedding contest that was supposed to be for fun. It was a 3 month full fledged storytelling, marketing, and social medi blitz that landed a gay couple in second place in a NATIONAL wedding contest. That would be me and my ex-husband of course. And a small New York Times photo, of minor importance. Or we were on the cover above the fold on the day marriage was legalized in  DC. Plus a wide array of rallies, and speeches and so much more. Through this, I was honing my craft. I was learning to trust my gut. And most of all, I was repeatedly being amazed by the power of stories.

Understanding the Importance of Stories

I learned so many lessons running these campaigns, but none was more important than how powerful stories can be. Stories are like no other medium. They empower, inform, and encourage action. Stories are transformational. Stories capture hearts and minds. A good storyteller can simplify even the most difficult issues and create greater understanding with a story. Stories create powerful connections between seemingly unrelated things, and stories bring people together. Something we need now more than ever.

This is My Story

So this is my Story; it is my authentic and emotional Story about how I learned of the power that stories possess. This is also a happy story for me, it is an awful thing that should never happen to anybody else. But it happened to me for a reason, and it allowed me to uncover my passion, and build a business around something I love. This story is a portion of my overall brand and a part of what makes JRH Graphics different.

When you boil all of what I told you down to its essential elements, it is about transforming hate into love. Hate and love are universal emotions. Everybody knows love in some way, and everybody knows hate. These universal emotions are the secret sauce, they are what allows the Story to connect with an audience.

So, What’s Your Story?

Want to know a secret? The words you use to answer this question don’t matter at first. The first time I ask it I am listening to how you provide the answer, then I am watching your body language, and looking for something that will clue me in to the fact that there is a bit more. And then I push.

Why do I push…

Because each time I ask the question “What’s Your Story,” I am trying to get down to the “why.” When you finally reach the real reason behind why you do what you do, the rest falls into place. Your Story becomes your roadmap for everything you do. It provides clarity and purpose for your business as well as great content for me to post on social media.

An authentic story that connects to your why and engages your target audience makes everything easier. Content creation is more straightforward; engagement is more organic, scaling your business is natural and creating measurable goals that move you towards where you want to be in 5/10/15 years is a piece of cake because all the key factors are aligned.

A T-shirt is More Than Just A T-shirt

I want to give you an example. I had a business I was working with to build a brand that they could use that felt authentic. The problem was I could not get down to the “Why” with them for weeks.

Why is it that you make these T-shirts?  I would ask

Because they are nice, aren’t they!

Why not cotton socks?

Because we make nice t-shirts.

After a few weeks of beating my head against the wall, I finally saw a glimpse of something and pushed to eventually discover that the family made the t-shirts because after their father passed away, they could not find one of his favorite ones. They found the fabric of the original shirt and now use it for all of their t-shirts. And instead of their marketing just relying on the fact that they make nice t-shirts a fairly low threshold, we were able to create a niche for them and a new need for consumers.

Because that t-shirt is not what they are selling, they now sell memories. And a simple story overlooked by the business owner made all the difference.

We All Have Powerful Stories, Use Them

I hope this highlights what a well crafted and authentic story can bring to your brand. I also hope that this gives you a bit of insight into my business and,  it inspires you to tell your Story. We all have stories they are powerful, don’t be afraid to use them.